The parish commission at Roylette 
            Bought their vicar a pristine new toilet. 
                But he still voids his bowels 
                On a heap of old towels, 
            He's so very reluctant to soil it. 

There was a young maiden of Siam
Who said to her lover, young Kiam,
"If you kiss me, of course,
You will have to use force,-
But god knows you are stronger that I am."

There once was a man from Leeds
Who swallowed a package of seeds.
Great tufts of grass
Sprouted out of his ass
and his balls were covered in weeds!

               The Rajah of Afghanistan 
               Imported a Birmingham can, 
                    Which he set as a throne 
                    On a great Buddha stone--- 
               But he crapped out-of-doors like a man. 

There was a young girl from Sofire.
               Who succumbed to her lover's desire. 
                    She said, "It's a sin, 
                    But now that it's in, 
               Could you shove it a few inches higher?"