There was a young girl of Samoa 
               Who determined that no man should know her. 
                    One young fellow tried 
                    But she wriggled aside, 
               And spilled all the spermatozoa. 

A pretty young maid from Australia 
            Painted her ass like a dahlia. 
                The colour was fine, 
                And so the design, 
            But the smell was still naturalia! 

Said a lovely young lady named Lake, 
               Pervertedly fond of a snake, 
                    "If my good friend, the boa, 
                    Shoots spermatozoa, 
               What offspring we'll leave in our wake!" 

The Dr. Seuss Purity Test



             Have you done it on a boat?
             Have you done it with a goat?


             Have you done it in a bed?
             Have you done it with the dead?


             Have you done it in the ass?
             Have you done it, high on grass?


             Have you done it in the car?
             Have you simply gone too far?


             Have you done it on the beach?
             Have you done it with the teach?


             Have you done it on your back?
             Have you done it strapped to a rack?


             Have you done it in a box?
             Have you done it with a fox?


             Have you done it in a tree?
             Have you done it with more than three?


             Have you done it in the rain?
             Have you done it for the pain?


             Have you done it 'tween the tits?
             Have you done it wearing mitts?


             Have you done it packed in rubber?
             Have you done it undercover?


             Have you done it on a perch?
             Have you done it in a church?


             Have you done it with a virgin?
             Have you done it with a sturgeon?


             Have you done it with ropes and chains?
             Have you done it while insane?


             Have you done it on the stage?
             Have you done it underage?


             Have you done it with all your friends?
             Have you done it in both ends?


             Have you done it with your dog?
             Have you done it on a log?


             Have you done it under clamps?
             Have you done it with the lamps?


             Have you done it without style?
             Have you done it up a mile?


             Have you done it for all to see?
             Have you ever had VD?


             Have you done it on Mother's couch?
             Have you done it in your mouth?


             Have you done it while on tape?
             Have you done it out of shape?


             Have you done it on live TV?
             Have you done it whilst you pee?


             Have you done it in the gym?
             Have you done it on a whim?


             Have you done it on a dare?
             Do you really think we care?


             Answer these and count your "no"s,
             pray this number never grows.
             Fifty questions we asked thee,
             score times two is thy Purity.

There was a young couple named Kelly               
               Who had to live belly to belly, 
               Because once, in their haste, 
               They used library paste 
               Instead of petroleum jelly.