A man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her breasts in
   the mirror. He asks, "What are you doing?"
   
   She replies, "I went to the doctor today, and he told me I have the
   breasts of a 25 year old."
   
   The husband retorts, "Well, what did he say about your 50 year old
   ass?"
   
   She replies, "Frankly dear, your name never came up."
   

   A man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her breasts in
   the mirror. He asks, "What are you doing?"
   
   She replies, "I went to the doctor today, and he told me I have the
   breasts of a 25 year old."
   
   The husband retorts, "Well, what did he say about your 50 year old
   ass?"
   
   She replies, "Frankly dear, your name never came up."
   

Interesting things about Monica Lewinsky: 
- Nobody would know about her if it weren't for Bill 
- She sucks 
- She blows 
- She's bloated 
- She's the focus of a huge legal battle 
- She'll go down in a heartbeat 
Who does she think she is, Microsoft Windows?

Question: What is 1 + 2 ?

Politician: Well, if you look at the seasonally adjusted figures,
you'll find that it's reasonably in line with government predictions.

Physicist: I won't tell you until you tell me what you want to use it for.

Lawyer: It makes one and a half each.

Santas Diversion



Santa was delivering gifts as usual, when at one house a beautiful young woman was
awaiting his arrival. She begged him to stay and cuddle with her on the couch.



Santa declined, saying "Ho-ho, gotta go. Gotta deliver these presents, you know."



Trying again, the lovely young thing removed her clothing down to her underwear.
"OH Santa, won't you please stay?" she begged. Taking a long look, Santa sighed
and delivered a not too believable, "Ho-ho, gotta go. Gotta deliver these presents
you know."



Not to be denied, this gorgeous female stripped off every stitch of remaining
clothing, smiled and said in the sexiest voice imaginable, "Oh, Santa, please
reconsider? Stay with me?"



With a very pained look on his face, Santa groaned and said very slowly, "Ho -ho,
gotta go. Gotta deliver these presents you know."



And with that, he turned and left. Two minutes passed, and Santa reappeared, plopping
himself down on the couch next to the beautiful girl.



"Santa! You decided to stay!" she exclaimed gleefully.

Santa grinned and said "Hey - hey, gotta stay. Can't get up the chimney THIS way!"




Sent by Neicey