Does DEC still make toasters...? They made good toasters in the '70s, didn't they?

Why do doctors slap babies when they are born? 

     To knock the penises off the smart ones. 

How do you make love to a fat girl?

Roll her in flour and go for the wet spot. 

Q: Why are men like laxatives?
A: They irritate the shit out of you.

When the milkman found a note on one of his customer's
doors asking for 16 gallons instead of the usual quart,
he rang the bell.
"Sorry to bother you, ma'am," he said, "but are you sure
you want sixteen gallons of milk today?"
"Oh, yes," said the lady of the house. "I'm going to take
a milk bath."
"Do you want it pasteurized?"
"No, just up to my tits would be fine."