Emery fixed himself a Scotch while waiting for
Maria to get ready for their date. She came out
of the shower wrapped in a bath towel and said,
"I'm sorry I'm late but I was shopping and lost
track of time. Would you like to see me in my
new dress?"

"I would like nothing better." said Emery. 

   Georgie is walking down the street after a sex-change operation has
   transformed him into a beautiful women. An old friend sees him and
   says, "Georgie, you look great...you're beautiful!"
   
   Georgie says, "Thanks...but holy Christ, did it hurt."
   
   His friend says, "When they cut open your chest and put in those
   implants?"
   
   Georgie says, "No, that didn't really hurt."
   
   His friend says, "When they cut off your dick and dug out a vagina?"
   
   Georgie says, "No, that didn't really hurt."
   
   His friend says, "Then what did hurt?"
   
   Georgie says, "When the doctor drilled a fucking hole in my head and
   sucked out half my brain."
   

Husband: I don't know why you wear a bra, you've got nothing to put in it?

Wife: You wear briefs, don't you? 

Why do bankers make great lovers? 

     They know the penalty for early withdrawal. 

Why do Scottsmen wear kilts?



The sound of the zipper scares the sheep.

Sent by Lou