Q: Why was the blonde looking in the refrigerator? A: Because The organe Juice said concentrate
A marine general, an army general and a navy admiral were discussing who had the toughest men. The army general says, "Alright, I'll prove the army has the toughest men in the country. Private, get over here!" The private reports as ordered, "Yes sir?" The general says, "See that man over there? Kill him!" Without hesitating, the private kills the man. The general says, "See? That man has balls!" The marine general says, That's nothing. Private, get over here!" The marine private reports, "Yes, sir?" The marine general says, "See that man over there? Kill him and then kill yourself." Without blinking, the marine private pulls out his M-16 and blows away the guy, then turns the rifle on himself and unloads several rounds. The marine general says, "See? Now that man has balls!" The admiral says, "That's nothing." He calls to a seaman high up on a tower, "Hey, seaman, jump off that tower!" The seaman answers, "Excuse me, sir?" The admiral repeats, "JUMP OFF THAT TOWER!" The seaman replies, "Fuck you, sir!" The admiral says, "See? That man has balls and he's got brains too!"
Why do blondes drive BMWs? Because they can spell it.
When you go to the hospital how do you find the head nurse? Look for the nurse with dirty knees and swollen lips!
A little girl was walking along a beach in California when she came across a man with no clothes on and just a newspaper covering his genitals. The little girl said, "What do you have under that newspaper, Mister?" The man said, "Nothing, it's just a bird, now go away!" The man thought nothing of her and quickly fell asleep. Hours later, the man woke up in a hospital bed in excrutiating pain. "Where the hell am I?" A doctor replied, "Someone called 9-1-1 and said you needed emergency help, so we rushed you right over." "Well, what the hell happened to me?" "We don't know, son. Do you remember anything unusual happening to you today?" The man said, "Well, there was a little girl bugging me just before I fell asleep." The doctor sent someone to the beach to see if the little girl was still there, and she was. The person said, "Do you know what happened to that nice man you saw here earlier?" "Well," the little girl said, "I started to play with that nice little bird that he had and the damn thing spit on me. So, I wrung its neck, broke its eggs, and set its nest on fire!"
