There's a new church that opened recently in Southern California. It's 
called "The Church of the Divine Helping". 

Communion is an all-you-can-eat affair. They focus on prayer breakfasts, 
community brunches, business outreach lunches, ladies teas, and (of 
course) potluck dinners. The church's motto: 

"God helps those who help themselves."

Sign seen above a car engine reboring shop in western Sydney: 

"Unlimited Head Jobs!"

IDIOTS WITH COMPUTERS

I worked with an individual who plugged her power strip back
into itself and for the life of her, could not understand why
her system would not turn on.