English comedian John Cleese, of Monty Python fame, was asked to describe 
the difference between British and American people. In reply Cleese said 
that there were three basic differences from the British viewpoint: 

1. "We speak English and you don't."
2. "When we hold a World Championship for a particular sport, we invite 
teams from other countries to play, as well."
3. "When you meet the head of state in Great Britain, you only have to go 
down on one knee."

As an art teacher for an elementary school here in Jacksonville, Florida, 
one of my recent assignments for the children was to enter a contest that 
our new national football team, the Jacksonville Jaguars, was promoting.

The winning artwork gets placed on the back of the season tickets, so I 
encouraged the children to come up with a good logo and a colorful 
creation.

One innocent little girl was so enthused about her masterpiece she turned 
in to me. It had a picture of a mean looking jaguar that read, "You're 
messin' with the wrong pussy."

Written on a toilet roll in a public Lavatory:

"Sociology Degrees, please take one."