A prospective juror in a Dallas District Court was surprised by the
definition of voluntary manslaughter given the panel:

     "an intentional killing that occurs while the defendant is under
     the immediate influence of sudden passion arising from an
     adequate cause, such as when a spouse's mate is found in a
     'compromising position.'"

"See, I have a problem with that passion business," responded the jury
candidate. "During my first marriage, I came in and found my husband in 
bed with my neighbor. All I did was divorce him. I had no idea that I 
could have shot him."

She wasn't selected for the jury.

A little boy was in a relative's wedding. As he was coming
down the aisle he would take two steps, stop and turn to the
crowd (alternating between bride's side and groom's side).
While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws
and roar. So it went, step, step, "ROAR," step, step, "ROAR,"
all the way down the aisle. As you can imagine, the crowd was
near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the
pulpit.
The little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed
from all the laughing, and was also near tears by the time he
reached the pulpit. When asked what he was doing, the child
sniffed and said, "I was being the Ring Bear."

VEGETARIAN

Driving along, with my 7-year-old daughter in the front seat.  She says,
"Daddy, when I grow up I want to be a vegetarian."

I reply, "A what?"

"You know, the doctor that takes care of animals."

Don Stevens 
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