A massive cold front swept across the nation this week,
but it's not expected to affect the election.
Says Hamilton, "The Weather Channel said the five-day
forecast for Bob Dole is three days." 

Late one Saturday evening, I was awakened by the ringing of my phone.  In 
a sleepy grumpy voice I said hello.  The party on the other end of the 
line paused for a moment before rushing breathlessly into a lengthy 
speech.
"Mom, this is Susan and I'm sorry I woke you up, but I had to call because 
I'm going to be a little late getting home.  See, Dad's car has a flat but 
it's not my fault. Honest!  I don't know what happened. The tire just went 
flat while we were inside the theater.  Please don't be mad, okay?"
Since I don't have any daughters, I knew the person had misdialed.
"I'm sorry dear," I replied, "but you've reached the wrong number. I don't 
have a daughter named Susan."
"Gosh, Mom, "came the young woman's voice, "I didn't think you'd be this 
mad."

Sign seen above a car engine reboring shop in western Sydney: 

"Unlimited Head Jobs!"