What we call human nature, is actually human habit. -- Jewel

I gave my wife a new watch for her birthday . . . waterproof,
shockproof, unbreakable and anti-magnetic. Absolutely nothing
could happen to it. She lost it. 

     -Joey Adams 

"User error. Replace user and press any key to continue."
                        -- Unknown

The government that can protect you from your enemies
can be used as easily by your enemies to harm you. 

     - Harry Browne 

"God wanted to have a holiday, so He asked St. Peter for suggestions on
 where to go.
         'Why not go to Jupiter?' asked St. Peter.
         'No, too much gravity, too much stomping around,' said God.
         'Well, how about Mercury?'
         'No, it's too hot there.'
         'Okay,' said St. Peter, 'What about Earth?'
         'No,' said God, 'They're such horrible gossips.  When I was
 there 2000 years ago, I had an affair with a Jewish woman, and they're
 still talking about it.'"
                        -- fortune