"f u cn rd ths u mst uz unix"
                        -- unknown

"Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and,
instead of bleeding, he sings." 

Ed Gardner. 

Woody Allen - "I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the
           universe when it's hard enough to find your way around
           Chinatown."

I was once walking through the forest alone.  A tree fell right in front of me
-- and I didn't hear it.

"A man who won't lie to a woman has very
little consideration for her feelings." 

     - Olin Miller