"P.S.  There is no big whirring movie camera hidden behind the big black
 rectangular hole in the middle of the Encyclopedia Britannica sitting on
 the shelf across from you in the cafeteria."
                        -- James "Kibo" Parry

There may be some things better than sex and some things may be worse,
but there is nothing exactly like it.

     - W. C. Fields 

Douglas Adams - "There is a theory which states that if ever
           anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why
           it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by
           something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is
           another theory which states that this has already
           happened."

"Happy Birthday Usenet Oracle!
 The Usenet Oracle celebrated it's 6th birthday Sunday, 8 October 1995.
 That's about ... let's see ... 1,320 in Internet years."
                        -- Steve Kinzler, rec.humor.oracle

If people behaved like governments, you'd call the cops. 

- Kelvin Throop