Love thy neighbor. But don't get caught.

ON INFINITY
   If you had everything, where would you keep it?

After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal,
   the school board is extremely pleased to announce the appointment of
   David Steele to the post.
   -- Philip Streifer, Superintendent of Schools, Barrington, Rhode
   Island

*   Son :How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
           Father:I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it.
          Son :Is it true, Dad, that I heard that in ancient China, a man
       doesn't know his wife until he marries?
          Father:That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE.

Women are like guns, keep one around long enough and your going to want to shoot it.