Fairy tales: horror stories for children to get them used to reality.

"In the beginning there were three... and then the three became nine... and
 then the nine got hungry and then there were four..."
                        -- Gerard Phillips

"I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man
   I keep his house."
   --- Zsa Zsa Gabor

I have a great diet. You're allowed to eat anything you want, but you
   must eat it with naked fat people.
         Ed Bluestone

* Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is
       over, the strings are attached.