"I'm a negative crepe
 I'm a negative crepe
 I'm a negative crepe"
"And I'm a scone"
                        -- conversation in alt.psychology.personality

"The stupid thing is, UNIX vendors insist on defining their market down to
 the point that they believe that they are market leaders (if your market is
 40,000 units, and you have 35,000 of them, then you must be the big fish,
 right?  Time to wield that 'ol monopolistic power...), instead of competing
 in the larger market.

 We're all computers.
 No, we're everything but mainframes.
 No, we're mini-computers.
 No, we're workstations and servers.
 No, we're servers.
 No, we're... we're... we're out of business."

-- Terry Lambert, comp.unix.bsd.freebsd.misc

The only thing you can do easily is be wrong,
and that's hardly worth the effort.

     - The Phantom Tollbooth, by Norton Juster 

Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.

Q: What's the best way to kill a man?

A: Put a naked wom