ON NUMBERS
   Grabel's Law: 2 is not equal to 3---not even for very large values of
   2.

The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing.

-- Dizzy Dean explaining how he felt after being
              hit on the head by a ball in the
              1934 World Series

   I couldn't have been happier when my wife became a "libber"
   Now, she complains about all men and not just me

"Astronomers say the universe is finite, which is a comforting
thought for those people who can't remember where they leave
things." 

     Unknown 

Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of
   your life.
   -- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a
   federal anti-smoking campaign