A Plumber whose name was Ten Brink 
            Plumbed the cook as she bent o'er the sink. 
                Her resistance was stout, 
                And Ten Brink petered out 
            With his pipe-wrench all limber and pink. 

   THE CREATION OF A VAGINA
   Seven wise men with knowledge so fine
   Created a pussy to their design.
   First was a butcher, smart with wit,
   Using a knife, he gave it a slit.
   Second was a carpenter, strong and bold,
   With a hammer and chisel, he gave it a hole.
   Third was a tailor, tall and thin,
   By using red velvet, he lined it within.
   Fourth was a hunter, short and stout,
   With a piece of fox fur, he lined it without.
   Fifth was a fisherman, nasty as hell,
   He threw in a fish and gave it a smell.
   Sixth was a preacher whose name was McGee,
   He touched it and blessed it and said it could pee.
   Last came a sailor, a dirty little runt,
   He sucked it and fucked it and called it a cunt
   


  

               There once was a midwife of Gaul 
               Who had hardly no business at all. 
                    She cried, "Hell and damnation! 
                    There's no procreation--- 
               God made the French penis too small."

The bishop of Winchester Junction 
            Found his phallus would no longer function. 
                So in black crepe he wound it, 
                Tied a lily around it, 
            And solemnly gave it last unction. 

There once was a lady from Hyde,
Who ate a green apple and died,
While her lover lamented,
The apple fermented,
and made cider inside her inside.