The was a young man from Dundee,
Who was stung on the neck by a wasp.
When asked "did it hurt",
He said "No, not a bit,
It can do it again if it wants."

There once was an apple-cheeked runt 
            Who was welcomed with joy at the Front. 
                This God's gift to he-men 
                Prevented spilled semen, 
            For his ass was tattooed like a cunt. 

               There was a young man from Nantucket 
               Took a pig in a thicket to fuck it. 
                    Said the pig, "Oh, I'm queer, 
                    Get away from my rear. . . 
               Come around to the front and I'll suck it." 

NIGHT OF DARKNESS

AS I LOOKED OUT THE WINDOW OF THE NIGHT
AND STARE INTO THE DARKNESS.
A WAKING NIGHTMARE OF DELIGHT
ETERNAL BLACKNESS UNTIL SUNRISE.
THE SPIRIT OF DARKNESS FLOWING THROUGH YOU BLOOD
FOREVER LASTING HAPPINESS.
A SINGLE DEATH ONCE A NIGHT
TO QUENCH THE THIRST OF THE ILVING DEAD.
NOT EVEN A CORPSE LEFT TO ROT
THEY VANISH FROM THE DARK PARKING LOT.


Sent by PHILIP

Said an ardent young bridegroom named Trask,
"I will grant any wish that you ask,"
Said the bride, "Kiss me, dearie,
Until I grow weary,"
But he died of old age at the task.