There once was a man named Houdini,
Who spilled some Gin on his weenie.
Said his date, "How uncouth!".
So he poured on some Vermouth,
And slipped the young girl a martini!

Sent by NINA

There once was wee lad called Marvin 
            Who thought his big dick was for carvin' 
                He tried to cut slices 
                Of "Turkey with spices" 
            And left all his dining guests starvin'. 

A newlywed couple from Goshen 
               Spent their honeymoon sailing the ocean. 
                    In twenty-eight days 
                    They got laid eighty ways--- 
               Imagine such fucking devotion. 

Kissing is a habit
Fucking is a game
Guys get all the pleasure
Girls get all the pain
The guy says i love you
You belive its true
but when your tummy starts to swell,
he says 'to hell with you'
10 minutes of pleasure
9 months in pain
3 days in hospital
a baby without a name
the baby is a bastard
the mother is a whore
this never wouldn't have happened
if the rubber wouldn't have torn.

Sent by Robert

There was a young man from Venice 
            Who played a good game of lawn tennis. 
                But the game he liked best, 
                Far more than the rest, 
            Was played with two balls and a pennis.