There once was a man from Sutter,
Who used to jerk off in the gutter,
Till the tropical sun,
Played hell on his gun,
And turned all his cream into butter.

               There was an old soldier named Schmitt 
               Took a trip to the can for to shit. 
                    To his epic despair 
                    No paper was there. 
               So he simply continued to sit. 

There was a young lady of Norway 
            Who hung by her heels in the doorway. 
                She said to her beau, 
                "Hey, look at me, Joe, 
            I think I've discovered one more way." 

               There once was a boring young Reverend 
               Who preached till it seemed he would never end. 
                    His hearers, en masse, 
                    Got a pain in the ass, 
               And prayed--- for relief of their nether end. 

Part 11 of 12
   
                    The selection was tough, I admit,
                            
                    But it did not dismay him one bit,
                            Then, with ass thrown aloft
                            He suddenly coughed...
                            
                    And collapsed in a shower of shit.