There was a young fellow named Perkin
Who always was jerkin his gerkin.
His wife said, "Now Perkin,
Stop jerking your gerkin,
You're shirking your firking, you bastard." 

Part 5 of 12
   
                    He was great in the Christmas Cantata,
                            
                    He could double-stop fart the Toccata,
                            He'd boom from his ass
                            Bach's B-Minor Mass,
                            
                    And in counterpoint, La Traviata.
                            

When the Bermondsey bricklayers struck, 
               Bill Bloggins was 'aving a fuck. 
                    By uni-on rules, 
                    He 'ad to down tools--- 
               Now wasn't that bloddy 'ard luck! 

Doc said i should go on a diet;

I said, "Ok, I will try it."

But when i saw how

Much food he'd allow,

I made up my mind not to buy it.

Sent by Christi

               Meet Elmer, young son of the Thorpes, 
               Afflicted with psychotic warps. 
                    His idea of fun 
                    Is to bugger a nun, 
               And then vomit all over the corpse.