Did you hear about the Polish Navy's tragic accident?
A hundred and thirty-seven sailors drowned trying to push-start
their new submarine.

Little Johnny catches his parents going at it. He yells in, "Hey, 
Pop! What are you doin'?"
His father says, "Son, I'm filling your mother's tank."
Johnny says, "Oh, yeah? Well, you better get a model that 
gets better mileage. The postman filled her this morning." 

        I was once in a nice family-style restaurant when I observed
some kids supergluing the dishes to the table.  They also attached
the silverware, napkins, salt, pepper, etc.  If it wasn't already nailed down,
it was now.  They stayed long enough to let the glue set, and then paid and
left.  They watched as the poor busboy tried to get the stuff off of the table.


        Also funny is supergluing a quarter to the sidewalk.  I know its old,
but in the city, with the diverse types of people around, it gets really
amusing.  I watched this old lady whack at it with her cane for about 10 min.
cursing......

So my sister, a natural blond graduating from the University of 
North Carolina Law School, is job hunting. I suggested that 
since Microsoft is building up their legal team, she should send 
them a resume and become a southern blond Microsoft lawyer 

-- and be the butt of any joke on the internet.

   An Unusual Ailment
   
   A man and a woman are riding next to each other in first class. The
   man sneezes, pulls out his wang and wipes the tip off. The woman can't
   believe what she just saw and decides she is hallucinating.
   A few minutes pass. The man sneezes again. He pulls out his wang and
   wipes the tip off. The woman is about to go nuts. She can't believe
   that such a rude person exists. A few minutes pass. The man sneezes
   yet again. He takes his wang out and wipes the tip off.
   The woman has finally had enough. She turns to the man and says,
   "Three times you've sneezed, and three times you've removed your penis
   from your pants to wipe it off! What the hell kind of degenerate are
   you?"
   The man replies, "I am sorry to have disturbed you, ma'am. I have a
   very rare condition such that when I sneeze, I have an orgasm." The
   woman then says, "Oh, how strange. What are you taking for it?" The
   man looks at her and says, "Pepper."