What do you do when a Blonde throws a grenade at you?

Pull the pin and throw it back.

During the World War II, an American warship was attacked by 
the Japanese. A torpedo was heading towards the ship and a 
hit seemed inevitable. So the captain told the navigator to go 
down to the crew quarters and tell a joke or something - at 
least they would die laughing. 

The navigator went down and said to the crew, "What would 
you think if I could split the whole ship in two by hitting my dick 
against the table?"

The crew burst laughing. So the navigator pulled his dick out 
and whammed it on the table. Just when the dick hit the table, 
a huge explosion tore the ship apart. The only survivors were 
the captain and the navigator. 

As they floated around in a lifeboat captain asked the navigator, 
"Well, the crew really laughed. What did you do?" The 
navigator told him.

The captain replied, "Well, you better be careful with that dick 
of yours. The torpedo missed!"

How do men exercise at the beach? 
By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.  

   Wife comes home to find the old man humping the dog in the front room.
   "My God
   Henry", she screams, "I know you've had other woman but this time
   you've gone too far!"
   "You may be right" he says, "I think I'm stuck."
   

An 18th-century vagabond in England, exhausted and
famished, came to a roadside Inn with a sign reading:
"George and the Dragon."
     He knocked.
     The Innkeeper's wife stuck her head out a window.
     "Could ye spare some victuals?"
     The woman glanced at his shabby, dirty clothes. "No!" she shouted.
     "Could I have a pint of ale?"
     "No!" she shouted.
     "Could I at least use your privvy?"
     "No!" she shouted again.
     The vagabond said, "Might I please...?"
     "What now?" the woman screeched, not allowing him to finish.
     "D'ye suppose," he asked, "that I might have a word with George?"