A huge guy marries a tiny girl, and at the wedding, one of his 
friends says to him, "How the hell do the two of you have sex?"

The big guy says, "I just sit there, naked, on a chair, she sits 
on top, and I bob her up and down."

His friend says, "You know, that don't sound too bad."

The big guy says, "Well, it's kind of like jerking off, only I got 
somebody to talk to."

A little Italian grandfather comes up to Customs.
The Customs official says, "Have you got anything to declare?"
He thinks a second and he says, "It's a nice-a day!"

How do you cook vegatables in the microwave ?

Take them out their wheelchair.

Two fags are on a picnic,and the first guy says,"I have to take a
dumpski,"and he walks into the woods to do it.
  Several minutes later,the other guy hears the first guy crying
"Boo Hoo,I Had A Miscarriage.I Had A Miscarriage."
  He runs into the woods to see what is going on.
  When he gets there,the first guy is still crying,"Boo-Hoo I Had A
Miscarriage...
   He looks down and says,"Don't be silly.You didn't have a miscarraige.You
had diarrhea on a toad."

A bunch of Indians capture a cowboy named "Clint", and
   bring him back to their camp to meet the chief. The chief says to
   Clint, "You going to die. But we sorry for you, so give you one wish a
   day for three days. On sundown of third day, you die. What is first
   wish?"
   Clint says, "I want to see my horse." The Indians get his horse. Clint
   grabs the horse's ear and whispers something, then slaps the horse on
   the ass. The horse takes off. Two hours later, the horse comes back
   with a naked blonde. She jumps off the horse and goes into the teepee
   with Clint.
   The Indians look at each other, figuring, "Typical white man - can
   only think of one thing." The second day, the chief says, "What your
   wish today?"
   Clint says, "I want to see my horse again." The Indians bring him his
   horse. Clint leans over to the horse and whispers something in the
   horse's ear, then slaps it on the ass. Two hours later, the horse
   comes back with a naked redhead. She gets off and goes in the teepee
   with the Clint. The Indians shake their heads, figuring, "Typical
   white man - going to die tomorrow and can only think of one thing."
   The last day comes, and the chief says, "This your last wish, white
   man. What you want?" Clint says, "I want to see my horse again." The
   Indians bring him his horse.
   Clint grabs the horse by both ears, twists them hard and yells, "Read
   my lips! POSSE, damn it! P-O-S-S-E!"