What did the blind man say when he was handed a cheese grater? 

     - "Thats the most violent book I've ever read." 

How is a man like a snow fall?

    -You never know how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

Man walks into a supermarket and buys :

1 bar of soap
1 toothbrush
1 tube toothpaste
1 loaf of bread 1 pint of milk
1 single serving cereal
1 single serving frozen dinner

The girl at the checkout looks at him and says "Single are you?"
The man replies very sarcastically "How did you guess?"
She replies "because you're ugly."

Two confirmed bachelors sat talking. Their conversation drifted 
from politics to cooking. "I got a cookbook once," said the first, 
"but I could never do anything with it."

"Too much fancy cooking in it, eh?" asked the second.

"You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way - 
'Take a clean dish and....'"

Is Windows a Virus?



No, Windows is not a virus.  Here's what viruses (viri?) do:

1. They replicate quickly -- okay, Windows does that.

2. Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system
   as they do so -- okay, Windows does that.

3. Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk -- okay,
   Windows does that, too.

4. Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable
   programs and systems.  Sigh... Windows does that, too.

5. Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too
   slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware.  Yup, that's with
   Windows, too.

   Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental
   differences:  Viruses are well supported by their authors, are
   running on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and
   efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they
   mature.

So, Windows is *not* a virus.