We have various local spots where the teenagers park, cruise, hold drag
races, drink beer etc.  We happen to own a white 1983 Dodge Diplomat,
the exact kind of car used by the State Patrol around here as well as
many law enforcement agencies nationwide.  (Actually our car WAS a
state patrol car, but that's another story).  Anyway, my brother in
law, who is a cruiser, would occasionally borrow this car and drive it
down to the cruising spots.  Needless to say, when they saw him coming
there was brief but furious activity.  He finally had to stop doing
this because it made his friends so mad.

People hate to pass us on the freeway too.  It is not unusual to see
some Camaro or Porche come zipping along through traffic until he is
about 2 car lengths behind us, then decelerate to a perfect 55.00 miles
per hour.  It takes him about 10 seconds to look us over, decide we
aren't in uniform, notice that we don't have state license plates, and
make up his mind.  He will then typiclaly test how fast his car will
accelerate to about 90 mph.

It was their first date, and she'd shown the patience of a saint 
as he babbled on and on about his hobbies, his pet peeves, his 
driving techniques, and even the standards he used to choose 
his barber.

Finally, he came up for air and said, "But enough about me. 
Let's talk about you." 

She breathed a sigh of relief.

He went on, "What do you think about me?"

 year old man comes to his doctor looking depressed.
He says "Doc, I think I'm impotent." Doctor sits him
down and begins the standard speech he gives to senior
citizens, about how as the body ages bodily functions
slow down and it is completely normal to suffer some
decrease in sexual desire. How the man shouldn't worry
or become upset about it, but should just relax and
things will probably be completely fine and
blah blah blah. Finally the doctor asks "When
did you first begin to think you were impotent?"

"Three times last night, and again this morning." 

Two GI's in the Vietnam war have been stuck in a trench 

for three days when one needs a shit.

"I can't go in here" he says" It's really going to stink"

"There's another trench over there" says the other.

"I'll cover you with the M60.... just give me a shout and

and i'll cover you so you can get back"

"OK"  so the GI runs across while the other fires off the

machine gun.

He's waiting 10 minutes......15.......20....

he shouts out "Are you Ok?".....nothing.



Over an hour later he hears his mate shouting.

"Cover me i`m coming back"

When he jumps back in, his mate says "Where the fuck have 

you been? you've been gone for over an hour"

"Yeah, I know. There's a girl in there, I played with her 

tits,fondled her arse,turned her round and fucked her from

behind!"

"It was great!"

"You lucky Bastard" said the other "did you get a blow job?"  

"nah" said the other,disappointedly" she didn't have a head"

Send by Rob Rowell

A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My wife is pregnant and her
 contractions are only two minutes apart!"  "Is this her first child?" the
 emergency operator asked. "No, you idiot!" the man shouted. "This is her
 husband!"