Joseph Schwartz, a career criminal, was wanted for looting in
Israel's port city, Haifa.  On the A.P.B. Wanted poster, he was
described as the  son of an ex-nun from Spain and a German father. 
It went on to  include  the facts that he was a musician adept at
the piccolo and often  worked as  a farmhand.
 
In other words... he was a Haifa lootin', flutin' Teuton, son of a
nun from Barcelona, part-time plowboy Joe...

She got so technophobic that [when] I gave her a digital
alarm clock for Christmas, she gave it back to me. 
          -- President Clinton, from his speech on Y2K in 
December 1998 in which he describes Hillary's request for a
wind-up clock that won't fail on Jan. 1, 2000.

It is well documented that for every mile that you
jog, you add one minute to your life. This enables you
at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a
nursing home at $5000 per month.