A World War II veteran came into a London clinic with a haemorrhoid 
problem. One painful pile would often hang down from the man's anus and 
he was in the habit of pushing it back up with an artillery shell. On 
this occasion, the shell got stuck. Doctors were going to remove it 
but the man told them the shell was still live. So the hospital called in 
the army bomb disposal squad, who built a lead box around the 
man's anus to defuse the shell before it could be removed. 

An amateur translator from English to Japanese happened to find a 
temporary job. The first he has to do is this; " Go the extra mile.
It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker."

Because the Japanese translator does not have a sense to understand
the above, his work in Japanese reads; "Don't go the extra mile, or
it reveals you as an incompetent slacker like your boss."

A couple I know recently adopted a Chinese baby girl, and were showing her
to friends. A neighbor came by to admire the baby, and asked, "But what
will you do when she gets older and starts speaking Chinese?"