On February 3, 1990, a Renton (Seattle area) man tried to commit
a robbery. This was probably his first attempt, as suggested by
his lack of a record of violent crime, and by his terminally stupid
choice:

   1.The target was H&J Leather & Firearms, a gunshop; 

   2.The shop was full of customers, in a state where a substantial
     fraction of the adult population is licensed to carry concealed
     handguns in public places; 

   3.To enter the shop, he had to step around a marked King County
     Police patrol car parked at the front door; 

   4.An officer in uniform was standing next to the counter, having
     coffee before reporting to duty. 

Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a holdup and
fired a few wild shots. 
The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, removing him from the
gene pool. 
Several other customers also drew their guns, but didn't fire.
No one else was hurt. 

A man in Orange County Municipal Court had been ticketed
for driving alone in the carpool lane. He claimed that the
four frozen cadavers in the mortuary van he was driving
should be counted. The judge ruled that passengers must be
alive to qualify. 

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this
creative defense: "My client merely inserted his arm into
the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm
is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the
whole individual for an offense committed by his limb."
"Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I
sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment.
He can accompany it or not, as he chooses." The defendant
smiled. With his lawyer's assistance he detached his
artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.