A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet
Earth taken from space.  On the back it said, "Wish you were here."

"Computers let you make more mistakes faster
than anything except handguns and tequila..." 

     - Mitch Ratcliffe 

"Oh yeah? My ENTIRE FAMILY was killed by gangsters... or maybe they moved
 to Tucson... and now I crave VENGEANCE."
"HA! My entire family AND MY DOG were crushed during a civil war re-
 enactment... and now I'm ITCHING to dispense justice indiscriminately!!"
"I just like to KILL people."
                        -- Various generic vigilante superheroes, "The Tick"

"Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right. " 
    - Henry Ford (1863-1947) 

Rotarians, be patriotic! Learn to shoot yourself.
   -- Chicago Rotary Club journal, "Gyrator"