I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up
in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.

Frank Sinatra

"... this bit here says 'I don't think we're in UNIX anymore Toto'..."
                        -- me

   Sign posted in a bathroom:
   We aim to please!
   You aim too! Please!


  

As your attorney, it is my duty to inform you that it is not
       important that you understand what I'm doing or why you're paying
       me so much money. What's important is that you continue to do so.
       -- Hunter S. Thompson's Samoan Attorney

The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing.

    -- Dizzy Dean explaining how he felt after being hit on the head by a ball in the 1934
    World Series