There once was a man from Kartomb
Who was exceedingly fond of the womb.
He thought nothing finer
Than the human vagina,
So he kept three of four in his room 

There was an old spinster of Tyre
Who bellowed, "MY CUNT IS ON FIRE!"
So a fireman was found,
Brought his engine around
And extinguished her burning desire

                    A lonely young lad of Eton
                            
                    Used always to sleep with the heat on,
                            Till he ran into a lass
                            Who showed him her ass---
                            
                    Now they sleep with only a sheet on.
                            

A certain young fellow named Dick
Liked to feel a girl's hand on his prick.
He taught them to fool
With his rigid old tool
Till the cream shot out, white and thick. 

                    A sweet young strip dancer named Jane
                            
                    Wore five inches of thin cellophane.
                            When asked why she wore it
                            She said, "I abhor it,
                            
                    But my juices would spatter like rain,"