Stuffing the turkey at Christmas
Reminded me of you
The melons in the market
The pears and peaches too
Cracking open Christmas nuts
Brought memories of your gentle touch
But all the while it hurt so much
'cos I'm still in love with you...


Copyright: D. Harvey 1998.

                    The Bishop of Solomons diocese
                            
                    Was stricken with elephantiasis,
                            The public beheld
                            His balls as they swelled
                            
                    By paying exorbitant priocese.
                            

There was an old man of Madrid 
            Who went to an auction to bid. 
                In the first lot they sold 
                Was an ancient commode--- 
            And, my God, when they lifted the lid! 

A young fellow discovered through Freud 
               That although of a penis devoid, 
                    He could practice coitus 
                    By eating a fetus, 
               And his parents were quite overjoyed. 

There was a young lady named Peaches 
               Who frequented the very best beaches. 
                    She refused the lifeguard, 
                    Though he breast-stroked her hard--- 
               She preferred to be sucked off by leeches.