Someone in Winslow, Maine didn't like Mr. Wood:

In Memory of Beza Wood
Departed this life
Nov. 2, 1837
Aged 45 yrs.
Here lies one Wood
Enclosed in wood
One Wood
Within another.
The outer wood
Is very good:
We cannot praise
The other.

                    For the prick-naming prize of Pinole
                            
                    This year's winner was Daniel O'Dole.
                            He will tell you with bonhommie,
                            "I call mine 'Metonymy,'
                            
                    Because it's a part for the whole."
                            

Bill Clinton's no man of conviction, 
               Avoiding truth is a lifelong affliction. 
                    Mixes lies with the facts, 
                    We can never relax, 
               To him, truth IS stranger than fiction. 

There was a young lady of Totten
Whose tastes grew perverted and rotten.
She cared not for steaks,
Or for pastry or cakes,
But lived upon penis *au gratin*.

There was a young person of Kent            
Who was famous wherever he went. 
All the way through a fuck 
He would quack like a duck, 
And he crowed like a cock when he spent.