Mary had a little lamb,
It's fleece was scarlet red.
The reason for this colour scheme
was the pick-axe in it's head.

Said a pretty young lady from Croft,
Whilst amusing herself in the loft,
"Salami or wurst
Is what I choose first,
But with baloney I know I've been boffed" 

There was a young lady from France
Who got on a bus in a trance
Everyone f*cked her
Apart from the Conductor
But he came twice in his pants

There was a young man named O'Rourke,
Heard babies were brought by the stork,
    So he went to the zoo
    And attempted to screw
One old bird -- end-result: didn't work.

Pardon My French
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

The finest culture
  Comes from Frontz
And hoe-knee-swat-key
  Molly-ponce!

Sally learned
  To speak in French
She's now a dame
  And not a wench

Dick acquired
  That language fair
And now he's swayve
  And deb-an-err

Speaking French
  Will prove you're better
Show you've got a
  Rays-on-debtor

Read in French
   And sack-ray-blue!
You're sure to find
  Your tom-pair-doo

Write in French
  And you'll be famous
Just like muss-your
  Albert Camus

You can bet
  Your dairy-air
Your French will prove
  Your salve-war-fare

He who is
  A true believer
Shows his Gallic
  Joyed-a-fever

French cuisine
  Is all the rage
So drink Bored-O
  With soft from-age

Wear a little
  Black beret
And eat cross-ants
  With French calf-A

Then there's all
  That art you know
So speak bow-czar
  And art-new-foe

And what a joy
  To smoke Get-tans
While watching films
  That come from Cans

I guess it's not
  An easy job
To be a phony
  Stuck-up snob...

Such games in Frontz
  They also play
But there "c'est snob"
  To speak anglais!