A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist. The doctor takes
   one look at this woman and all his professionalism goes out the
   window.
   
   Right away he tells her to undress. After she has disrobed he begins
   to stroke her thigh.
   
   As he does this he says to the woman, "Do you know what I'm doing?"
   
   "Yes," she says, "you're checking for any abrasions or dermatolegical
   abnormalities."
   
   "That's right," says the doctor. He then begins to fondle her breasts.
   
   "Do you know what I'm doing now?" he asks.
   
   "Yes," says the woman, "you're checking for any lumps of breast
   cancer."
   
   "That's right," replies the doctor. He then begins to have sexual
   intercourse with the woman. He says to her, "Do you know what I'm
   doing now?"
   
   "Yes," she says. "You're getting herpes."
   

A group of third, fourth and fifth graders accompanied by
   two female teachers went on a field trip to the local race track to
   learn about thoroughbred horses and the supporting industry. During
   the tour some of the children wanted to go to the toilet so it was
   decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go
   with the other. As the teacher assigned to the boys waited outside the
   men's toilet, one of the boys came out and told her he couldn't reach
   the urinal. Having no choice, she went inside and began hoisting the
   little boys up by their armpits, one by one. As she lifted one, she
   couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well endowed for an
   elementary school child. "I guess you must be in the fifth," she said.
   "No ma'am" he replied, "I'm in the seventh, riding Silver Arrow.
   Thanks for the lift anyhow."

I have lived in several different houses with a bunch of guys. Needless
to say things got pretty rowdy sometimes and many were victims of some
pretty funny jokes.  One of the favorites as I recall (and still is) is
to go into the bathroom while the victim is taking a shower, and pour
a bucket of extreeeemmmlly cold water on them over the top of the
shower curtain.  This is quite a shocking experience, and if you are
fast enough you can get away before the victim finds out you did it.

I remember one guy I lived with getting this all the time.  One time
he got sick of putting up with it and jumped out of the shower into
the hall squirting shampoo at everyone in sight.  The next time this
happened the guys were ready with a camera to take pictures of him as
he ran out of the bathroom.  These pictures were later shown at his
bachelor party.

There was three guys, one with a rubber dick, one with a wooden dick,
and one with a nine foot dick.
The guy with the rubber dick couldn't have sex because it wasn't hard.
The guy with the wooden dick couldn't have sex because the other
person would get splinters. 
Finally, the third guy with a nine foot dick says, "See that girl over
there? Bam. Got her." 

   A robber was robbing a house when he heard a voice. "Jesus is watching
   you!" "who's
   there?" The robber said But no sound was heard. So he kept going and
   he heard it two
   more times when he spotted a parrot. "What's your name," the robber
   asked. "Cocodora"
   said the parrot. "Now, what kind of idiot would name a bird Cocodora"
   said the robber.
   "The same idiot who named the rotweiler Jesus", said the parrot.