Why is the government like a prostitute?

                                 Your always getting screwed and you have to pay for it!

A cowboy walked into a barber shop, sat on the barber's chair 
and said, "I'll have a shave and a shoe shine." The barber 
began to lather his face while a woman with the biggest, 
firmest, most beautiful breasts that he had ever seen 
knelt down and began to shine his shoes.

The cowboy said, "Young lady, you and I should go and spend 
some time in a hotel room." 

She replied, "I'm married and my husband wouldn't like that. 

The cowboy said, "Tell him your working overtime and I'll pay 
you the difference." 

She said, "You tell him. He is the one shaving you."

   Harry and his wife are driving in the country when he sees a sign that
   says, "Cow For Sale...$5000."
   
   He pulls in and says to the farmer, "There's no cow in the world worth
   five thousand dollars."
   
   The farmer says, Oh, yeah? Take a look at this."
   
   He lifts the cow's tail, and Harry sees the cow has a snatch just like
   a woman.
   
   Harry gets back in the car, turns to his wife, and says, "It's just
   not fair. Here's this farmer with a cow with a snatch like a woman,
   and it's worth $5000, and here I am, with you, with a snatch like a
   cow, and you're not worth shit."
   

It was many years ago since the embarrassing day when
a young woman, with a baby in her arms, entered his
butcher shop and confronted him with the news that the
baby was his and asked what was he going to do about
it?
Finally he offered to provide her with free meat until
the boy was 16. She agreed.
He had been counting the years off on his calendar,
and one day the teenager who had been collecting the
meat each week, came into the shop and said, "I'll be 16 tomorrow."
"I know," said the butcher with a smile, "I've been
counting too, tell your mother, when you take this
parcel of meat home, that it is the last free meat
she'll get, and watch the expression on her face."
When the boy arrived home he told his mother. The
woman nodded and said, "Son, go back to the butcher
and tell him I have also had free bread, free milk,
and free groceries for the last 16 years and watch the
expression on HIS face!"

One day there were these three boys walking down 
the street, all of a sudden they heard a yell: 'HELP! HELP!'
 When the boys got to the noise they saw Bill 
Clinton in a lake drowning. The three boys saved 
him from drowning. Bill Clinton asks the first 
boy how he could ever repay him. The boy said, 
'I want a boat.'
The second boy said 'I want a truck.' 
And the third boy said, 'I want three tombstones with are
names all on them.'  Bill Clinton said, 'why is that son?' 
The little boy said, 'because when my Dad finds out that we
saved you, he is going to kill us all!'