MICHAEL KENNEDY

   What's the difference between John Denver and Michael Kennedy?
   John Denver made it alive out of Aspen.
   Has Elton John re-written any of his songs for Michael Kennedy?
   Not yet, but he's done one about the tree: "I'm Still Standing"
   How can you be sure that Michael was really a Kennedy?
   Check the family tree.
   A simple accident? Some witnesses insist there was a second tree at
   the
   snow-covered knoll...
   What do Michael and JFK Jr's magazine "George" have in common?
   Wood pulp.
   New bumper sticker...."Plant A Tree....Kill A Kennedy...."
   What will it take to reunite the four Kennedy brothers?
   A1: One more bullet.
   A2: A season lift pass.

Grant's Bar and Casino:

     Liquor in the front, 
     Poker in the rear. 

"Shhaaayyy, buddy, what's a 'Breathalyzer'?" asked one drunk 
to his friend at the next barstool.

"Well, I'd have to say it's a bag that tells you when you've drunk 
way too much," answered the equally wasted gent.

"Ah hell, whaddya know? I've been married to one of those for 
years and years now!"

Did you hear that Oprah Winfrey was arrested
at the airport for drug smuggling?

It seems she bent over and someone saw fifty
pounds of crack.... 

Woman: Two *Achoo!* tickets, please. 
Clerk: Have you purchased tickets here before? 
Woman: *cough* No. 
Clerk: Then I need your address. 
Woman: Okay. It's 260..*AHEM* Sorry..Laryngitis... 
Clerk: You'll have to spell that one for me.