LONGEST TURD

The longest dump ever verified was produced by an American, who produced a
'staggering turd' over a period of 2 hr 12 mins which was officially
measured at 12 ft 2 in. The offender is banned from 134 washrooms in his
state.

A week after high school I was shipped off to a military college with a no 
contact with home policy. Not a good idea, but my idea. I returned home at 
the end of the quarter to find my mother, father, and the home I grew up 
in were gone. She thought the vacant lot was a great joke. It was. But if 
I ever talk to a therapist, I'm going to mention this.

Prince William has been confirmed into the Church of England. Now, just 
like his father, he must obey the nine commandments.