My brother snores soo loud.  Recently we went out west for 
vacation, and he didn't snore at all...except the first night we 
were there.  It got to be so bad that I took my pillow, sheet, and 
blanket and went into the bathroom to sleep.  I put my stuff in 
the bathtub, shut the door, and fell asleep in the tub.  Me, being 
the sound sleeper that I am, didn't hear the door open when my 
brother had to use the toilet.  Seeing me fast asleep in the 
bathtub, he turned the water on.  I slept right through the whole 
thing until morning, when my sheet and blanket were soaked by 
lukewarm water.  I thought I wet the bed until my brother 
confessed a few days later.

Aeschylus:

A Greek playwright back in 500 BC. Many historians consider him the father
of Greek tragedies.

How he died: An eagle dropped a tortoise on his head

According to legend, eagles picked up tortoises and attempt to crack them
open by dropping them on rocks. An eagle mistook Aeschylus' head for a 
rock (he was bald) and dropped it on him instead.

Important Press Release: 

The manufacturers of KY Jelly have announced that their product is now 
fully Year-2000 compliant. In the light of this they have now renamed it 
as: "Y2KY Jelly". 
Said a spokesman: "The main benefit of this revision to our product, is 
that you can now insert four digits into your date instead of two."