* When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten
       year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

I am sick unto death of obscure English towns that exist seemingly for
   the sole accommodation of these so-called limerick writers and even
   sicker of their residents, all of whom suffer from physical
   deformities and spend their time dismembering relatives at fancy dress
   balls.
   -- Editor of the Limerick Times (Limerick, Ireland)

I am sick unto death of obscure English towns that exist seemingly for
   the sole accommodation of these so-called limerick writers and even
   sicker of their residents, all of whom suffer from physical
   deformities and spend their time dismembering relatives at fancy dress
   balls.
   -- Editor of the Limerick Times (Limerick, Ireland)

I've always thought that underpopulated countries in Africa are
   vastly underpolluted.
   -- Lawrence Summers, chief economist of the World Bank, explaining
   whywe should export toxic wastes to Third World countries

Women are like fine wine. They all start
out fresh, fruity and intoxicating to the mind and then turn full-bodied with
age until they go all sour and vinegary and give you a headache.