There was a young man named Tom
Who ran screaming home to his mom.
The fear of the Bomb
Scared him back in the womb---
The bastard, he wasn't so dumb!

I love the way...

I love the way you make me feel inside,
I live the way you make me realize that 
i can't live with  out you.
I hope you feel the same way too.
I love the way you wear your hat,
Why don't we wrestle on the mat?
But remember this one thing if you mess with me,
You will pay dearly.
Anyone who gets in the way of me loving 
you will have to pay.
I love the way you stare at me,
And you probaly love the way iI don't care.
We can take a walk by the lake,
Then later on bake a cake.
I love the way your love for me is not fake,
Because that would be a big mistake. 
I love the way you love me,
And most of all I love the way you love me.

Sent by April

"If the skirts got any shorter"
said the typist with a blush...
"There'd be two more lips to powder
and lots more hair to brush!"

There was a young lady from Wheeling
Who professed to no sexual feeling
Till a cynic named Boris
Just touched her clitoris
And she had to be scraped off the ceiling

The Very Very Untitled Poem

 To you I write this poem of nonsense
 My back is aching, my shoulders, tense
 My R.S.I. is D.O.A.
 Q.E.D. I.Q. O.K.
 My temper frayed, about to snap
 I am the king of talking crap
 I try to do the best I can
I`m worse than David Letterman!

 I watch TV to ease the friction
 Of this internet addiction
 But to my dismay, I find
 I cannot leave the net behind
 The world wide web calls to me
 Like a mermaid siren in the cyber-sea.
 
 Like watching "Twin Peaks", I`ve lost 
the plot
 I`ve been writing for weeks and this 
is all I got.
 With liquid refreshment as my 
inspiration
 Just cider that`s been through 
refrigeration
 Talkin` `bout my generation.

 Pen to paper. Fingers on the keyboard.
 Makes no difference. I`m still bored.
 Light goes on if you pull the cord
 Which payment plan can I afford?

 Eat ice cream with some toffee fudge
 "Robot" is the Czech word for "drudge".
 I, robot. I scream!

 Never mind. It doesn`t matter
 I eat and drink and just get fatter
 Excuse my ramblings. Now, I`ll cease.
 And leave you lot in peace ;~)

 © 1999 Peter Hughes


Sent by Pete Hughes