An old maiden who barely did kissing,
Soon discovered what she had been missing.
When laid down on the sod,
She cried out, "Oh, God!
All these years I just used it for pissing!" 

There was a bluestocking in Florence 
Wrote anti-sex pamphlets in torrents, 
Till a Spanish grandee 
Got her off with his knee, 
And she burned all her works with abhorrence.

Said a dainty young whore named Miss Meggs,
"The men like to spread my two legs, 
Then slip in between, 
If you know what I mean, 
And leave me the white of their eggs." 

There was a young man from Lyme
Who couldn't get limericks to sound right.
When asked why not
It was said that he thought
They were overly long and far to complex, possibly even dull. 

There once was a man from Madras
With testicles made of spun glass
When he rubbed them together
They played "Stormy Weather"
And lightning shot out of his ass

Sent by karen