My neighbor works in the operations department in the
central office of a large bank. Employees in the field
call him when they have problems with their computers.
One night he got a call from a woman in one of the
branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke
coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have
a fire downtown?"

The president turned back to his own role in history.
He told the audience that he saw a list of the top 100 news
stories of the century compiled by the Newseum, a journalism-
oriented museum ... across the Potomac in Virginia, and noticed
that "something about the events of the past year" [was] on it.

Clinton, smiling, revealed his number on the list: No. 53.

"No. 53! I mean, what does a guy have to do to make the top 50?
I came in six places after the invention of plastic, for crying
outloud. And I don't recall a year of 24-hour-a-day saturation
on the miracle of plastic."

               --Associated Press Report
                  on 85th White House Correspondents
                   Association Dinner
                    2 May 1999

OK one time me and two of my friends went over to another friends

house expecting him to be home but nobody was. We had also 

remembered that his parents were out of town for the week,

so we decided to go inside and wait for him. So I slipped 

in through the oversize dog door. Once we were inside we got

a little bit bored so we decided to leave , but before we did 

I came across a great idea. You see his mom collects teddy bears 

and had hundreds of them placed all around the house. So we gathered 

allmost all of them and placed them in the living room and sat them 

on couches, chairs and the floor all facing the TV.Just then I 

found a videotape of Barny (EVERYONES FAVORITE PURPLE FRIEND)

So we put in the tape and left the remote control in the biggest

bears lap with the volume all the way up and then left.



Later that night we called him and told him that we were coming 

over, he sounded worried. When we arrived he answered the

door with a shotgun in his hand, he was scared shitless.

Turns out that he and his girlfriend called the cops and 

had to explain the whole story, The found nothing,laughed and left.

To this day he dosent understand what happened and sometimes 

we joke around with him about it. Since only 3 of us know about

it there is always new people that think he is crazy.  

Sent by ethan