Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same
   reactions in the brain as marijuana...The researchers also discovered
   other similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are.
   --Matt Lauer on NBC's Today show, August 22

Herblock's Law: If it's good, they will stop making it.

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely
   rearranging their prejudices.
   -- William James

Don't worry about temptation--as you grow older, it starts avoiding
   you.
   -- Old Farmer's Almanac

Modern parents believe toilet training should be an easy and
casual affair.  Just let the child s*%# all over everything.  This
prepares him or her for a brilliant career as a talk show host.

                                                        --P.J. O'Rouke