The Beer Prayer 

Our lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink.
Thy will be drunk, (I will be drunk),
At home as it is in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillage,
As we forgive those who spill against 
us.
And lead us not to incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers.
For thine is the beer, the bitter, and 
the lager.

Barmen


Sent by aftab

Razors pains you,
Rivers are damp;
Acids stains you'
And drugs cause cramps.
Guns aren't lawful,
Nooses gives;
Gases smells awful,
You might as well live.

         ---Anon

There once was a hobo named Bob,
he likes to eat corn on the cob.
He lives in a box,
has holes in his socks,
And likes to eat pork flavour beans.
He sleeps on a bench in the park,
all by himself in the dark.
He sits on the ground
and acts kinda strange,
holds out his hand 
and grumbles "spare change?"

Sent by Candy

roses are red
violets are corney
when i think of you
oh baby i ged horney
eat me
beat me
bite me
blow me
suck me
fuck me
very slowly
if you kiss me dont be sassy
you your tongue and make is nasty

There once was a man named Sweenie,
 who spilled some gin on his weenie.
 So just to be couth,
 he spilled some vermouth.
 And then slipped his girl a Martini.