There was a young girl named Prentice
Who had an affair with her dentist.
He used anathesia
Which made things quite easier
And diddled her non compos mentis. 

If the river was made of whiskey,
And I a diving duck,
I'd swim down to the bottom,
And drink myself back up.

Sent by Amy

The Best!!

A weary old lecher named Blott
Took a luscious young blonde on his yacht.
    Too lazy to rape her,
     He made darts out of paper,
Which he leisurely tossed at her twat.

Said an old lady called Mary Tabott,
"I wish I had teeth in my twat.
For just think" said she,
"how nice it would be
To keep all the pricks that I got." 

               A patrician young fellow named Lear 
               Used to wash off his bollocks with beer. 
                    Said he, "By the gods, 
                    This is good for the cods--- 
               It will lengthen my fucking career.