There was a young fellow named Rummy
Who delighted in whipping his dummy.
He played pocket pool
With his happy old tool
Till his shorts and his pants were all cummy 

Mary Mary
quite contrary
bought a dildo 
lost your cherry
bought another,
freaked your mother,
now you have sex alone.

Sent by Kendall

There was a young lady of Mott
Who inserted a fly up her twat
And pretended the buzz
Was not what it was,
But something she knew it was not. 

Kissing is a habit
Fucking is a game
Guys get all the pleasure
Girls get all the pain
The guy says i love you
You belive its true
but when your tummy starts to swell,
he says 'to hell with you'
10 minutes of pleasure
9 months in pain
3 days in hospital
a baby without a name
the baby is a bastard
the mother is a whore
this never wouldn't have happened
if the rubber wouldn't have torn.

Sent by Robert

There once was a Bishop of Treet
Who decided to be indiscreet,
But after one round
To his horror he found
You repeat, and repeat, and repeat.