There once was a lady from Worcester,
Who thought a man had seduced her.
She woke up and screamed,
It was only a dream,
It was the bump on the matress that goosed her.

Sent by Joey D.

Part 8 of 12
   
                    His basso profundo with timbre so rare
                            
                    He rendered quite often, with power to spare.
                            But his great work of art,
                            His fortissimo fart,
                            
                    He saved for the Marche Militaire.
                            

                    I told her, "Your bank accounts knotted,
                            
                    You've spent so much more than alloted."
                            She said with a yawn,
                            "I'm not overdrawn,
                            
                    It's just simply an under-deposit!"

He's teaching her arithmetic, he said it was his mission.
He kissed her once, he kissed her twice and said, "Now that's addition."
And as he added smack by smack, in silent satisfication,
she sweetly gave the kisses back and said, "Now that's subtraction."

Then he kissed her, she kissed him without an explanation.
And both together smiled and said, "That's multiplication."
Then Dad appeared upon the scene and made a quick decision.
He kicked that kid three blocks away and said, "That's long division!"

He laid her on the table
So white clean and bare.
His forehead wet with beads of sweat
He rubbed her here and there.
He touched her neck and then her breast
And then drooling felt her thigh.
The slit was wet and all was set,
He gave a joyous cry.
The hole was wide... he looked inside
All was dark and murky.
He rubbed his hands and stretched his arms...

And then he stuffed the turkey.